The lies we tell ourselves

I sat there, watching as people danced around the fire. My friends, my dad, people i grew up with and endured one hardship after another with. They were all there. I couldn't help thinking in that moment, "Though things are kind off crappy right now, i dont want any of it to change. This is perfect."

I sat there watching them for a few minutes. I was happy. But then they froze, one by one each going silent. They stared off into the distance at something. I couldn't see anything from my tent. A few seconds went by without a sound. People slowly started to back away from the direction they were looking, not daring to look away.

I sat there watching them. A few more seconds and most of them were out of my view with my dad slowly backing up towards my tent. I watched him confused and concerned, "What is happen-" i started before my dad shushed me aggressively. I didn't dare say another word. When he was almost to me i heard a low growl.

A shiver ran down my spine. It sounded like an animal but bigger... stronger. Another growl slowly rang out as my dad froze in place. This growl was louder, deeper. I felt it shutter through my soul. My dad stood dead still, frozen in place like a statue. He slowly and quietly spoke to me, "Honey back up to the wall and find a place to hide.". "What about you?", I quietly whispered back. He slowly unsheathed his blade. The very blade that saved my life when i was stuck inside that burning tent. "I'm going to buy you some time.", he whispered back at me. I tried to protest but he hushed me as another growl rang out through the walls, this one was aggressive, high in pitch and much shorter.

Whatever this was it clearly started to get impatient. I quickly crawled to my mother's bed. I hid under it like i did years ago when storms raged outside and i was too scared to sleep on my own. I turned around just in time to see the beast that was crawling after my dad.

It was huge. At least one and a halve times the size of my dad and here he stood with a knife, staring it in its six eyes. The beast was not right. It was covered in hulking tumors, broken shells and claws. It had five legs, each with claws the size of my head. Its mouth was twisted and open with giant fangs, dripping saliva. It resembled an animal from the stories called a bear but this one was broken.

I peered out from underneath the bed as the monstrosity snarled at the well built man that was my dad. My dad glanced back at me, only for a second to see if i had hidden. That one glance, that one second of weakness gave the monster its chance. One of the five claws lash out at my dad in a speed that seemed impossible for such a large creature to achieve. It was the claw that seamed to have grown itself some time in the creatures past. It had hung out of its shoulder like an appendage that was not supposed to be there.

In that swipe i saw true terror in my dad's face as he was swatted to the side. I heard bones crack, i saw the claw pierce my dad's side. It happened almost in slow motion. I gasped as the man that raised me and loved me for seventeen years was swatted to the side like a fly. The beast's neck snapped with an inhuman speed in my direction, staring at me with all six eyes.

There was hunger in its eyes and at the same time excitement. I stared in horror as the monster very slowly began to sniff the floor with its mangled snout, staring at me all the way. It had just barely started moving in my direction when something jumped on it and it yelped. The creature clawed at its back furiously before one of its limbs eventually yanked a body off and threw it to the ground in front of it. I heard more bones crack. I stared, terrified. It took me a second to make it out but when i looked at the body i finally saw what it was.

It was my dad, gasping for air. His side was torn open, i saw bones, organs, a halve torn up lung inflating and deflating faster and faster and blood. So. Much. Blood. He turned to see me who had climbed out from under the bed by now. "RUN", is all he managed to get out in a gurgled voice.

I watched as the life left the eyes of the man that use to be my dad. The monster, now having my dad's knife sticking out from its back snarled at my now dead father and started to tear him apart. I watched as it proceeded to tear one of his legs of , snapping bones, tearing muscles and spewing blood everywhere. I could do nothing but stare as it ate my dad. I saw his face, now bleak and empty. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream, i couldn't move. All i could do was stand there and stare. The world around me melted away. All i knew was this, here and now. The end of my life.

A few seconds later a knife stabbed through the wall of the tent. I barely noticed it. Jeffrey of all people came rushing through the new hole in my parent's tent. He looked around and saw me staring at something. When he noticed what i was staring at, he froze at the sight. We both stood there for a few seconds while the monster tore of more and more of my dad. Eventually he snapped out of it and picked me up. He ran outside with me in his arms and bolted off through the tents.

When i finally came to me senses, i realised what was happening. Jeffrey saved me. "We need to get out of here. That was not the only creature. Most of the camp is already dead. I know you just lost your dad. One of these... Things tore up my parents too. But we cant mourn them right now. I came here because i knew that you had no ability to run. We have to run to Velisare. Its only an hour or two of walking from here.". I stared at him. So many thoughts ran through my head. One in particular, "Why is He saving Me". Though Jeffrey was a nice boy and i certainly liked him, he was normally completely disinterested in everything and rarely ever helped with anything in the camp.

I pushed these thoughts aside and the next crises arose, "Where is my mom?". I told him to stop and added that my mom might still be alive and that i was not leaving without her. He hesitated for a second, probably thinking that it might not be worth it but gave in eventually.

We rushed through the camps. His arms getting tired under my weight and my body getting cold due to not having much on but some PJs. We saw tents on fire, bodies scattered everywhere, all torn up just like that creature tore up my father. I saw old friends, teammates and the people i was meant to lead one day, all dead or bleeding out on the floor taking their last breaths. Eventually we found a tent on the edge of the group that seamed to mostly be in tact.

Inside was my mother, making out with a guy i didn't even know. They were both kitted out and had large backpacks of items. When we entered, they quickly separated. "What the HELL is going on here?!" I screamed as quietly as i could manage. My mother seamed flustered. "Please tell me this is all some kind of elaborate joke or something.". "Hi honey... I know how this looks.." she tried to explain. "I dont give a crap how it looks, explain. Now!", I screamed, slowly losing control of my anger.

"Well...", She sighed, evidently dropping the façade. Her face went blank. It was as though she felt nothing. The beautiful, always smiling face of my mother disappeared as if it was never there. "You werent supposed to survive but i guess here we are now. We brought the monsters here... intentionally.". I stared at her in disbelief. My mother, the woman i loved with all my heart, is the one that killed my dad. I refused too accept it. This is a lie. It had to be. My breathing accelerated, i became frantic, i panicked, more and more. It felt like my chest was closing up, like a weight was put on me and was holding my lungs closed. The walls grew closer. This the "They" I've been asking about. I watched my dad get eaten alive, i saw the corpses of my closest friends, of people i loved. I nearly burned to death, all because of my mom.

I spiraled more and more, falling into a panic attack. Jeffrey grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me back to my senses. "Hey, hey, hey. Breath. I cant have you freaking out on me now. We have a long way to go. Please... I need you.". Those last words brought me back to reality. My people needed me and here i was having a panic attack. I calmed myself and mustered the strength to ask my mother the one question i was most afraid of, "Why did you do this?"

"Well its simple. I fell in love with a different man. We have dreams of living in the cities again and thriving there. Out here every step is dangerous and all you people do is pride yourselves on you 'connection' to each other. I cant keep living like this anymore and if i just leave you might come back to haunt me one day. ". I stared at her again. She said it so matter-of-factly. I couldn't believe my ears. Raising my voice again, i responded, "So 20 years just meant nothing to you?". She responded with a face as serious and as void of emotion as can be, "Yes. You see, I'm a psychopath. I dont Feel anything towards any of you. You know if you want you can join us. We will at least take you to the city."

It all suddenly made sense. I sat there for a few seconds processing what just happened when Jeffrey pointed out to me that the area has gotten strangely quiet. All you could hear was the wind. No more distant growling, screaming or even tent fires. It was over. They were all dead and we were the only survivors. I got up, gave my mother one last goodbye and left in Jeffrey's arms. I never looked back again.

We walked for hours, i would guess four but it wasn't easy. The wind blew ash into my legs and arms despite Jeffrey's desperate attempts to hold me high. After what felt like and hour we were both about to collapse. We were only halve way to the city by now but we could see the massive storm lights positioned along the walls. There was hope. We might yet survive. But Jeffrey's arms and legs were shaking with every footstep under my weight and my skin had gone numb from a combination of radioactive ash and cold.

I made the decision to stand on my own two feat. Jeffrey protested but he was to slow. His arms could not hold me any longer. If i didn't get off we would both fall over and get hurt much more. Jeffrey isn't the most "built" man ever. He is actually very scrawny. I was impressed that he made it as far as he did but he had reached his physical limit and more.

When my feat touched the ground they flared up in a fiery pain as tiny glass shards gut my legs and radioactive ash rushed into the open wounds. Every step was agony. We continued on, step by step. Each step slowly became easier since my feat slowly lost all their feeling. By the time we reached Velisare, Jeffrey was practically dragging me. I couldn't move my feat anymore. When we tried to look at the damage, we physically saw the bones sticking out from my flesh. I looked at it but felt nothing. No pain. No remorse for my ruined feet. No regret for my decision. I simply continued forward.

We reached the main gate and both collapsed on the concrete ramp that lead to the main gate. We lied on out backs, staring at the sky. The clouds had cleared and the sky was lit up with breathtaking arouras. Blue, pink, green, yellow. Every color you could image, shifting mesmerizingly. They danced across the sky as if to say sorry for the events that transpired that night. I felt nothing, i was cold, tired and emotionally exhausted. I wanted this all to be over.

Jeffrey sat upright beside me and began to speak, "Tonight... was bad. I dont think either of us can process what happened. We will be broken for months or maybe even years. But hey! We are alive. That must be for a reason. I like you Gabriela. You make me feel human again after my parents abandoned me. I dont know what is in store for us next but what i do know is that with you by my side, ill be able to face all of it.". I looked at him. His eyes were tired, exhausted from dragging and carrying me but behind them was something more, something that stunned me. He had hope. If after all that he could still hope. Maybe, just maybe there might actually be hope. I grabbed his hand and we both passed out on the concrete slab while staring out into the stars. Ready to face tomorrow.