Episode 53: The Final Form of the Blackjack Sky Report

General Summary

Our Pal Egolas

Having cleared out the threats from the external areas of the sunken Blackjack, the Crew took inspiration from numerous previous invasions of their own ship and headed for the inside via the starboard windows. What they find is a gaping hole but just as they are about to step into the hold, Spark notices an intricate arcane trap and says "Uh, you might want to stop right there unless you really feel like dancing your pants off right now."

After a bit of strategizing, the Crew decides to have Lance start blasting his balls (fire and thunder) into the crowd of zombies visible just beyond the opening, with Spark and El readying to smack anyone and anything that attempts to emerge. Suddenly, a mysterious entity from deeper within the ship unleashes an underwater gas-bubble-cloud upon the Crew, while ironically shouting something about how all lives matter.

Sensing a need to put an immediate smackdown on this bigot, the Crew dispels all the bad juju and heads into the ship. Nia and Lance started blasting, while El and Spark got straight up in the faces of the undead horde. Soon, all that remained was an extremely pale-looking elf wearing a torn lumberjack shirt. With a final yell of "Soccer is not a sport!", Pal Egolas attempts his own blasting, but is cut down like the little bitch that he is.

Within the hold, the Crew finds an outrageous amount of treasure that probably could've only been acquired through nefarious means, as well as a number of artifacts, One of these causes Nia to question the true nature of her father while another gives hope to Spark that even goblins can enter and win the World's Strongest Man Contest.

The hull of the sunken Blackjack also contained hidden petrification traps scattered between the treasure hordes. A potion of water breathing is discovered and poured down Spark's throat allowing him to breathe and cast. The crew also senses a great evil lurking in the captain's quarters so they invis Spark to serve as bait hoping to lure said evil into a petrification circle.

Snax Attacks, You Don't Want Thats!

Spark snuck up the stairs to find a bunch of shades and a Death Knight Snax, but a screaming banshee bitch was like I smell goblin and began wailing. Spark tossed a barrage of hammers than fled down the stairs. The banshee and the shades just incorporealated through the floors, a few turned to shadow statues, Spark fired his new sunburst rifle and the light blinded almost the whole contingent, the stumble floated around a little aimlessly, and El dispatched them as pallys do.

Snax seemed to grow frustrated at how quickly his shades were evaporating and called them back to service with an 'Arise my minions!' Several shadows returned around him, but Lance cast Soup Cloud and on the stairwell room and boiling roiling water destroyed them all once more and injured Snax with only banshee hovering just beyond. Nia tried to line up a shot on the lifeless lyricist, but the soup was in the way, so she flew up to through one of the captain cabin windows to confront Snax who was raiding a potion chest so he could see his invisible assailants.

El went up a window as well and tried to smite the death knight to mild effect, as if her heart wasn't into the destruction of this former hero. So, Spark came up to assist, but El still bemoaned her poor performance. Nia psychic lanced Snax' mind into oblivion in what should have led to his demise, but the death knight's degradation knew no bounds, he turned to his banshee bitch and screamed 'In Bakunawa Grave, Snax eat you!' He devoured her to restore his strength. Lance retorted, 'Not cool, Bro. Not even to a side piece.'

The death knight unleashed a howl of hatred that harmed the heroes a little then turned his blade on Spark. The goblin gave credit when one of the blows even left a little dent. The damage though kept coming, The Blade of Wonder did reluctant work, but it was Spark and his new Satellite that landed the final blow.

And Now a Word From the Previous Baron

In the captain's quarter, Nia found a new hat, and the power of her captain's crop reached it's greatest height. There was a letter from her father there, filled with pride at her matching his power. It also contained a Power Word Kill for the Warlock of Malfador, which could not hurt her. His letter hoped she could save the family they both loved, mentioned Jenny, and was pretty heartfelt even if all the info was a little outdated.

There was also more treasure! Oh and the Blackjack unlocked it's final form (now with more cannons) and Nia can summon the Blackjack to her almost anywhere! The crew still needs to survive Lance's Bachelor party to attend the double wedding, then plan a way to assault the Hidden Moon. A single clue may have been left behind as a curious figurine of Arimoanga, the leonine Celestial Glutton, lies on the new captain's desk.